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I feel more then ever....

  • May. 10th, 2008 at 4:27 PM

All we can do is move forward. Left right, left right.
I feel saved, without a God involved.
I hear you in my heart and no one can take that away from me.
All my sadness is gone.
I was afraid you would deny me but instead you loved me as much as I love you.
The blackness is lifted the years of looking and asking questions there was no answers for. Years of trying to make him my friend, but I have to move forward.
With some sadness also can come joy.

I am sad for him. I am. I wish I could make him feel this joy. I wish I could make him understand but what can I do. I am only me.
I was angry at him I admit I would cry and ball my fists, but that is all past. I found my savior. I found my joy, I found a love I know well, Family. So I will focus on my joy and ignore his anger if I ever see him again. As long as I can hug them this summer everything is ok.



Writer's Block: So Sensitive

  • May. 9th, 2008 at 5:35 PM

What are you most sensitive about?


View other answers


I use to be hyper sensitive but I toughened up over the years. But I tend to be sensitive about my family & friends. Also History, some time periods in history can be so sad. Like Slavery times and more. I also get sensitive when I have PMS, as if you didn't know that by now. haha

My love of Pictures

  • May. 6th, 2008 at 2:54 PM

I tend to express certain periods of my life through having a photo shoot done of me. I have decided to put them in order of shoot and post them up I am working on it now. I think they are great most of them, well great at expressing what I am feeling. I am not always suppose to look pretty in them, some of them thats the point. But My new ones I call Teddy and I will add those as well. Hugs
Now you get it?

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Washburn-Norlands Fire Deemed Accidental

  • May. 5th, 2008 at 5:09 AM

Remember as a kid in Maine going to Norlands with your school?  Well I thought I would post this, it makes me alittle sad. -Amanda



LIVERMORE, Maine -- Fire heavily damaged the Washburn-Norlands Living History Center in Livermore Monday night.

It broke out just after 9 p.m. in the barn and by the time firefighters arrived, there were flames shooting out of the building.

The fire also spread to the middle house connecting the barn to the original mansion. The president of Washburn-Norlands, Cathy Beauregard, said the good news is that the mansion itself was spared. But the barn was destroyed and some of the livestock died in the fire.

The Maine state fire marshal's office said a heater set up in the barn sparked the fire. It was put there to keep several newborn piglets warm. The fire marshal's office has ruled the fire an accident.

Firefighters from several towns helped fight the fire and shuttle water to the scene. Beauregard said about 100 neighbors also showed up to help out.

There were no reports of any injuries.


http://www.wmtw.com/news/16044761/detail.html

PETA and Euthanasia By: Newsweek

  • Apr. 29th, 2008 at 4:10 PM


PETA and Euthanasia

Jeneen Interlandi
Newsweek Web Exclusive



Nearly a decade later, Daphna Nachminovitch still remembers the rerelease of the Disney classic "101 Dalmatians" and the tragedy that followed. First there was a spike in sales of the famous spotted breed. Then, in the months that followed, shelters took in hundreds of Dalmatians from disillusioned pet owners around the country. "As soon as the puppies outlived their cuteness and the kids didn't want to scoop the poop anymore, the dogs were dumped in shelters," says Nachminovitch, vice president of cruelty investigations for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). "Many of them had to be euthanized, because there was simply no place for them to go."

But what many animal lovers don't realize is that PETA itself may have put down some of those unwanted Dalmatians. The organization has practiced euthanasia for years. Since 1998 PETA has killed more than 17,000 animals, nearly 85 percent of all those it has rescued. Dalmatians may no longer be the breed of the day, but the problem of unwanted and abandoned pets is as urgent as ever. Shelters around the country kill 4 million animals every year; by some estimates, more than 80 percent of them are healthy. In recent years those grim statistics have split the animal rights community. Ironically, PETA has emerged as a strong proponent of euthanasia. (The group is better known for its public condemnations of everyone from fashion designer Donna Karan for her use of fur to the National Cancer Institute for its animal research.) In defense of its policy PETA has insisted that euthanasia is a necessary evil in a world full of unwanted pets. But while the group has some well-known allies, including the Humane Society of the United States, a growing number of animal rights activists claim to have found a better, more humane way.

"Over-population is a myth," says attorney Nathan Winograd, whose recent book "Redemption: The Myth of Pet Overpopulation and the No Kill Revolution in America"" chronicles the rise of the no-kill shelter movement. "With better outreach and public relations, we can find homes for virtually all of the healthy animals we are now killing." As proof he points to a string of communities across the country whose shelters have managed to stop euthanizing all but the sickest animals. Bonney Brown, executive director of the Nevada Humane Society, says that in 2007, the first year her group went "no-kill," her shelters managed to save 90 percent of the 8,000 animals they took in. Among other strategies, the organization ramped up its volunteer force, from 30 to 1,700, expanded its hours so that people could come in after work and engaged in extensive media outreach.

"On balance, people love animals," says Brown, pointing out that animal causes are one of the fastest-growing segments of American philanthropy. "The biggest challenge has been convincing them to trust their local shelters. And with a little initiative we are finally starting to do that."

Shelters in Virginia, New York and San Francisco report successes similar to Nevada's, and communities in more than a dozen states have announced no-kill goals and added legislative mandates to their agenda. King County, Wash., passed a law requiring area shelters to achieve an 85 percent save rate by 2009. San Antonio, Texas, is aiming for zero kills by 2012. And Ivan City, Utah, saved 97 percent of its shelter animals beginning in 2006 when the animal control ordinances were rewritten to prohibit the euthanasia of healthy animals.

Those successes have not persuaded PETA or its allies. The group argues that in order to maintain their no-kill status these facilities simply turn away animals that are unlikely to be adopted, often leaving them to fates worse than death. "No one hates it more than we do," says Nachminovitch. "But we would rather offer these animals a painless death than have them tortured, starved or sold for research." PETA isn't the only group to take that stance. "No-kill is a noble goal," says Wayne Pacelle, president and CEO of the Humane Society of the United States. "But the sheer number of animals make it almost unachievable."

Instead of zero kills, PETA claims to be shooting for zero births. "Focusing on the animals that come into shelters is like emptying a river with a teaspoon," says Nachminovitch. "By investing in spay and neuter programs, which are where a lot of our resources go, we can stop unwanted births and prevent four times as much suffering."

But Brown and others insist they have achieved no-kill without turning animals away, and on a fraction of PETA's $30 million budget. "With the resources at their disposal, PETA and the Humane Society of the U.S. could become no-kill in no time," Winograd says. "Instead they have become leading killers of cats and dogs, and the animal-loving public unwittingly foots the bill through taxes and donations."

URL: http://www.newsweek.com/id/13454

When your on fire

  • Apr. 25th, 2008 at 10:13 PM

It's a change. You watch you change. Everything moves slow. Everything smells strong. You slide and crawl on  the floor to feel alive. You bend in ways.
 You look at a cross and then look at your TV , there one and the same. It's like never having wings. Because we never get those wings.
So close to feeling, but not enough, just under what you need, just alittle under what you crave.

And then Never, never, never.
You wont dare......
It's just flesh.
It's just a case.
What does it matter what we do with it in the end?

Sometimes from space part 1

  • Apr. 22nd, 2008 at 8:31 PM

A soft sound. Softer still and still it is.
The air is changing, becoming thinner and I breath deep.
There here.
And I am sad when they are there,
in space, away.
Stay with us. Keep this beautiful for me.
Large eyes, larger heads.
I can smell people's thoughts.
Quietness is what is needed Even if you think you need to make noise.
You just want distraction.
Noise, cities, lights bright.
But there lights are brighter and inside your head.







Do not reproduce

Ode to my best bud

  • Apr. 22nd, 2008 at 2:12 PM

Thank you for being so amazing Chris.


Sad

  • Apr. 11th, 2008 at 9:51 PM

Why am I so sad?
If anyone knows the answer why my heart feels like its bleeding, then please tell me.
It's so dark in here. Were is the sun?
Why am I doubting everyone and everything?
And how long will my heart be bleeding?
Why am I so sad?
Is the world to much for me?
All the pain, all the hurt in life.
I can't watch the bad souls. I cant be alright when nothing truely is.
I wish my insides would stop hurting. Why do I cry all the time?
Why do I want to be alone?
Why don't I answer the phone?
What has happen to the sunshine girl.
I lost my happy.
I lost peace of mind.
Why am I so sad?
Why do I have to answer to anyones questions, or demands.
Why do I have to even say hello.
Why is it so easy to sing in the darkness?
I need sun to heal me.
I am not ok.
They say time heals.
I think that is a lie.
Why can't I stop ignoring everything?
I hurt and no one helps me, even though I deserve to be happy again. But I just do not see the sunshine.

What I do to myself- A incoherant ramble

  • Apr. 10th, 2008 at 7:29 PM

I yell at myself and make in fun of myself and tell myself, No, you can't have that. I prevent true happiness some days. I prevent involving myself in decisions because I won't truly ever be heard. And even if I am, I will just beat myself up for putting my thoughts in the first place.
Only I prevent what I can.
People wait for me to speak but I just stay silent and clench my teeth.
No one asks How are you? But I ask everyone.
Maybe some people don't care if your good and dead as long as they can shake your hand or give you a pat on the back, because the dead is inside.

When you spend all your entire life bleeding through, meaning helping and giving away and being a Charity yourself to death. You get to tired in a deep way. You can't erase the pain you have seen. You can't fix the whole world and sometimes not even one person, so what's the point? Yet I plow on. I hate myself for that. I wish I had the weakness to just lie in bed and go it alone in a dark depression, but instead I stay in the sun were it's warm. My bright light fights the darkness and does not allow it to survive. I always try again. If you only knew were I have been.....


Victorian Post-Mortem Photography

  • Apr. 9th, 2008 at 3:35 PM

I love looking at photo albums. They do not even have to be my family photos. My Favorite are the very old but well kept that show people who look like statues and usually show no feeling behind there eyes. Is that because of the old Fashions cameras lack of capability to capture it, or did people just have colder hearts in 1890?

I have spent loads of time just looking at pictures and trying to figure out the people in it and what the details around them mean. In a picture we usually pose so it's easier to hide who we are, but never the less under that good posture we are solely trying to have the picture be a memory were no one sees anything bad or remembers anything horrid. I don't like unpleasant pictures I never have. Bloody, gore pictures in the newspaper of someone who died, It does not thrill me. But there is one rather odd morbid, old fashioned, extinct for most type of picture that makes my eyes go wide with wonder. They are called death portraits. Yes the pictures of people in old times propped up with there eyes closed, even children and babies I have seen of these. And although your first instinct is to be repulsed. Down inside you understand. The reason death portraits were so common was because in old times they were not always allowed to cry by accident in public so you dealt with grief in your own way. And sometimes that way created some rather unusual and Morbid scenes in life. Sometimes perhaps more morbid then the Death of the person in the photograph itself.
It can be so sad looking at these types of photos but sometimes informative or sometimes just plain creepy, if your lucky you will see one that makes you smile. The peaceful looks on there faces can sometimes make you smile, because you know whatever horror they went through in life is over and that is why they look so peacefully asleep. -Amanda



What can I do?

  • Apr. 5th, 2008 at 7:00 PM

I can sing and dance and always see the light.
I can fix people and animals.
I can be bright, witty and act like a bitch.
But I cannot take a compliment or find shoes that fit.
I can heal.
I can take the blow.


I can run humanity,
but I would pass it up.


I can forgive anything.
I can give anything.
I can smile at the right words.
I can mind my own business.
I can close down a Doctor or a Brat.
I can listen.
I can't see the point to some people,
but I can still love them.
I can't be a Christian, but I can be kinder then Jesus.
I can orbit. But I can't take orders.
I can act like the Harvard snob.
I can act like the local girl.
I can hug people every day.
I can read 7 books a week and wish I had more on Thursday.
I can slip through and hide so you do not see me.
I can be the star.
I can be his Mrs.

A annoying April Fools

  • Apr. 1st, 2008 at 2:05 PM

For some reason people are making a April Fools joke spreading the rumor The Sims 3 was canceled. It is just a joke, as it was not canceled you retards and a joke is something that is funny not something annoying. Most Simmers are morons.